Wednesday, January 27, 2016

You're not coming to my birthday party.

I have some really good friends.  Some have been around since high school, and some were college friends, but I haven't really created any new friendships much once I graduated.  Part of my issue is that I'm not doing a good enough job being there for my friends I currently have, so why try and make new ones? Plus I tend to be a little difficult to get to know, so I don't want to spend the time letting someone new truly get to know me (and me them), and still have that relationship not compare to one of the friendships I already have and inadvertently neglect.

In my life, friends cannot truly know me without knowing my family.  My family is so important to me that I feel that someone doesn't understand me unless they've spent time with my husband, sisters, parents, nephew, etc.  And then they can see the real me.  It's probably not super healthy to have my identity be partially defined by others, but these people are the ones who have made me me and confident in who I am.

This all changed a few months ago when I was introduced to one of Ri's friend's new(ish) girlfriends.  I knew from our initial conversation that he'd found a gem.  She was super sweet and genuine.  The conversation flowed easily at dinner that night and Ri and I realized that we had found a couple we equally enjoyed spending time with - kind of hard to come by!  In the last few months we have spent lots of nights hanging out on the patio with our new couple friends chatting over each other's weeks and plans.  I know we will hold onto the memories of these nights drinking wine by the fire when our friends move away.  They are planning to move about 2 hours south of us within the next year or so, and we will miss them terribly.  At least a 2 hour drive is doable for a day or weekend trip!

This friendship has made me realize that it's okay to open up and be vulnerable to people I don't know super well.  We have shared plans for our futures, dreamt of our next vacations, griped about our jobs, and cried (well just us girls ha) while talking about the moments with our loved ones that have shaped our lives.  I am so thankful for God putting her in my path and showing me that it's worthwhile to be open to new friendships and let my guard down every once in a while.

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